Miserable

I did a very terrible thing today. I lost my temper to a group of children during our class at church. I got angry to them when I am supposed to be teaching them about the day’s lesson. It doesn’t feel right but I don’t know what else to do.

I’ve been struggling with this for a long time now and I’m starting to lose heart.

I love children and I feel privileged to teach them. But I don’t think I have the capabilities to be their teacher. I just don’t know where to draw the line. I’m trying to befriend them, be a big brother or a buddy to them, so they won’t feel awkward when I am around. But then they seem to lose the respect they should give me during our classes. I can’t get them to take notes, I can’t make them answer when I ask them questions. They don’t do their assignments and they don’t seem eager to attend my class. I’m not even sure if they are learning anything from me. *sigh*

I feel so useless and ineffective in a task that was given to me. I don’t want to be a miserable teacher but I feel bad when I get angry at them. *sigh*

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I’m in Cebu!!!

…but I’m not having the “time of my life” experience. Lol! I flew in yesterday afternoon and, since then, all I’ve been doing was work, work and work. But people at work were nice, even if they didn’t talk that much. I’m not sure if I’ll have the chance to go somewhere or buy pasalubong after I’ve finished everything. Oh well.

I’m currently on the road on my way to Cebu City. I just came from the town of Balamban, which is located on the other side of Cebu Island. We (me and the driver) are traversing this long and winding road over the mountains with the speed of 80 km/h, almost the speed limit in South Super Highway (one of Manila’s major highways). Lol! This is quite dangerous because one single mistake can send us flying down the deep, green (because of the trees below) chasm just beside us. Lol! I should be scared, but I’m not. I’m getting nauseous. Should I tell the driver to take it easy or should I stop typing? Nah!

This is a spur of the moment post and I don’t have any plan of letting go of this laptop. I don’t care if I get incoherent or anything, I’ll just type and type and type.

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Unfortunately, this is the second part of the post. I fell asleep during the travel and when I woke up, we were already there at the place. Lol! Right now, I’m in the airport, waiting to board in the plane. I’m so excited to go home, primarily because I am going home. Hehe. Second, because I’m looking forward to that moment when the plane takes off the runway. Ahh…

I’m not sure if I’ll be able to go back here in Cebu. Some things might change at work and a promise of going back here is quite impossible. Oh well, at least I got blessed with this one chance.

P.S. While traversing the long and winding road, i got to see lots of beautiful views of the mountains. I tried to take some pictures but I got frustrated because the driver was driving too fast and I couldn’t hold still, and I dont have any nice camera with me except my phone cam which is quite low res. This is the best and only picture I managed to take. Lol!

Cebu